Another list article, because it’s coming up to the end of the year and we all know how much people love looking at these kinds of articles on various news sites. So this time I thought, why not look at the Metacritic site and see what the all time best games are, as of right now. It’s another really easy to do article that both looks like I care, and uses so little effort you may as well have Googled it yourself.
This time I went for the top twenty games just to make it look like more effort was put into a literal copy and paste job, just with a small bit of writing by myself for each game.
#01 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time – 99. First of all, I agree that Ocarina of Time is the best Legend of Zelda game. I didn’t play it on the N64, but I can imagine this being pretty damn mind blowing when it came out. Also, a score of 99 is probably never going to be beaten so Ocarina of Time may well be the top of the list for ever and ever. I didn’t even know Metacritic existed back in 1998.
#02 SoulCalibur – 98. This must be by far the best reviewed fighting game that’ll ever happen. It’s also the only fighting franchise I kinda like, though I do button mash. Because the hell with spending time actually learning moves. Also note how this came to the Dreamcast, an underrated system doomed to fail because Sega pulled a Sega.
#03 Grand Theft Auto IV – 98. Really? GTA IV is the third best game of all time? Like, this is somehow better than Vice City, San Andreas or GTA V? Did any reviewers actually play the game? I just don’t understand… I mean, really?
#04 Super Mario Galaxy – 97. That’s right, despite how everyone says the sequel is the better game, Super Mario Galaxy is reviewed higher. In fact, I’m not even sure the sequel is in the top twenty all time best games. So suck it. Yeah I never really understood the love in this game, or the sequel. I think it’s the motion controls that put me off.
#05 Super Mario Galaxy 2 – 97. Oh… the sequel is in the top twenty. It’s right below the first game. I should have looked at the list before writing that piece. I mean, I could go and edit it out because I haven’t uploaded this article. And I could stop writing all this and pretend nothing was ever said. Ah what the hell, I’m too lazy to edit it even though it’s really easy to do. Still don’t understand why everyone loves these games though.
#06 The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild – 97. Wow, the second Legend of Zelda game not only listed in the top twenty greatest games of all time, but in the top ten. Interestingly it’s the two games in the franchise that revolutionised the series with the successors taking the same format. Very impressive.
#07 Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 – 97. I don’t know what this game does that’s so different than the first two games. It’s a game where you go around on a skateboard, doing tricks, collecting floating letters, listening to whatever licensed music was big at the time and often breaking your head and spine on the concrete course.
#08 Red Dead Redemption 2 – 97. It’s a great game, and the amount of detail that Rockstar put into it is truly incredible. But did anyone actually finish it? I’m being serious. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone ever finish this game.
#09 Grand Theft Auto V – 97. Well, finally we got to a better GTA than IV. I don’t know what is going on at these websites, but apparently they were high or something because this scored lower than IV which is just not a good Grand Theft Auto.
#10 Metroid Prime – 97. I know the GameCube was somewhat a failure, but I think Metroid Prime should have done much better. It took a niche franchise and turned it into an amazing first person adventure/shooter. And now the remaster is on the Switch, it’s even better. But hey, it’s the first FPS in the list so that’s something.
#11 Grand Theft Auto III – 97. Okay what the actual heck!? You got IV ahead of V but now we get GTA III ahead of Vice City and San Andreas, which are both miles better? Reviewers clearly don’t know what a good game is when it comes to GTA. I’m sorry but they can’t be trusted. God knows how VI is going to score.
#12 Super Mario Odyssey – 97. See, this game to me is much better than the two Galaxy games. It doesn’t require motion controls for the core gameplay and when it came out, Super Mario Odyssey really drove home the nostalgia factor which to us old people, makes everything better. That’s why we hate young people. Damn young people with their energy, ability to stay up late and drink without worrying about the hangover. Bet they laugh and smile too and not sit feeling miserable about how much you screwed up your life. Damn young people.
#13 Halo Combat Evolved – 97. Oh yeah, it’s the one game that people cared about on the original Xbox. You remember, back when Bungie was owned by Microsoft and turned a Apple Mac exclusive into a Xbox FPS that turned out really good. Now they are owned by Sony and upsetting everyone by scrapping live service games like Fractions and making shit decisions regarding Destiny 2.
#14 NFL 2K1 – 97. It’s a game that came to Dreamcast when 2K was a sports brand owned by Sega. Bet you forgot that didn’t you?
#15 Half-Life 2 – 96. This was going to be listed somewhere, just surprised it’s this far down the list. Now I know what everyone is thinking. Where’s Half-Life 3. Well… Maybe you should stop acting so entitled and play other games! You think you have it bad? I have been waiting for years to hear about sequels to games I love. Are they ever going to happen? Noooooooo. So shut up and stop whinging.
#16 Bioshock – 96. I remember the demo for this game, and playing it over and over and over again just waiting for the game to release. Then getting annoyed because the demo was slightly different than the game itself with how everything was set up. I miss the days of demos. And when games were on disc and you could walk into a shop and look around and buy the game and get all excited about getting home. Just sitting on the bus looking at the back of the box or the manual. Damn young people, ruined it all with their downloads and always online multiplayer games.
#17 Goldeneye – 96. This is so much of what I think about when I remember how much school was shit but how awesome the N64 was. Must have played hours and hours of this game. Still do love playing Goldeneye because despite what people say, I never had problems getting used to the controls even after never playing it for twenty years.
#18 Uncharted 2: Among Thieves – 96. Bloody hell. These are the games that to me, haven’t aged well. You get ten minutes of story between hours of shooting waves of enemies while hiding behind rubble and occasionally doing a puzzle or jumping to your death because Nathan is stupid and jumps in the wrong direction.
#19 Resident Evil 4 – 96. Another game that released initially as an exclusive for an underrated console which also set the course for the direction the franchise would take with the two follow ups. And now Capcom remade it, so it’s actually more accessible to those not wanting to get used to the controls. Probably best to play the remake.
#20 Balder’s Gate 3 – 96. Already!? This game is already one of the best games of all time? Bloody hell. That’s all I can say. Bloody hell.
Have you noticed how seven of the games in this list were all exclusively published by Nintendo for one of their consoles? I mean I guess you could argue Rare isn’t Nintendo. But at the time Nintendo co-owned the developer they just had a lot of freedom. So yes, I do count Rare. That’s an impressive achievement right there. All I’m saying on the subject. Also just to say, this really isn’t a greatest list because it has nothing from before the N64 era. So how can it be the greatest when thousands of games can’t be judged?