Games That Make No Sense: Wetrix

Every once in a while, a game comes along that changes the face of gaming and destroys the lives of millions that are pulled into its never ending grasp of addiction. 

First in 1985 came Tetris and it was popular. But then Nintendo bundled it with the launch of the Game Boy and it exploded in popularity, and helped Nintendo roll around in an increasing stock pile of cash while laughing at their competitors. 

Then in 1996, Bubsy 3D was born and everyone shrugged as they were busy playing Super Mario 64 and Nintendo continued to roll in their stockpile of cash while laughing at Bubsy 3D. And we all nodded in agreement. 

But then, in 1998 something came along that revolutionised the way we looked at gaming forever. Wetrix. A game so mind blowing, they couldn’t contain it on just the PC. It also ended up on the N64. And Nintendo were too busy rolling in their stockpile of cash and laughing to even realise it existed. 

That’s right, Wetrix was a thing. It sounds like Tetris meets an wank but it’s not. It’s just a game that existed. A game where you splash sexy water onto all the sexiness beneath across a square landscape. It blew the minds of many a sad and lonely nobody. 

The desire for more orgasm like graphics meant a Dreamcast game had to come out in 1999 and everyone was required to purchase new trousers… and underwear. But the masses needed a game fit on the go and so a Game Boy Color also released. And buses and trains were delayed all over as drivers hands were suspiciously stuck to the steering wheels.

Wetrix. The name that alone sounds so sexy, you’ll ask why you even bothered with that partner of yours. Wetrix does the same thing. And more. 

Now you are asking, gee Wetrix is so good I don’t even know why nobody talks about it anymore. Well, that’s because it’s absolutely shite. Like, you can talk it up as much as you want but giving a crap game a sexy name means nothing if they are dying from boredom before getting past the title screen!

So to end it all, Wetrix was this game that got big reviews all over magazines and then no one remembers.

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